• Club Jesters, 39-43 Union Street, Plymouth, PL1 3LU
  • Telephone (01752) 220878

Club Jesters

The legacy

Before I start may I say this page will only make sense to Plymouthians, residents of Plymouth, service personnel, students and JANNERS.

Also may I state that under no circumstances were any students harmed, beaten or intimidated by any marines or doorstaff during the creation of this website.

I think you may be getting the drift of this page already...

I originally wanted to call this the Bullshit page but was out-voted for obvious reasons.

As in all walks of life, whether business or personal, we all have to deal with bullshit at some time or another. Coming up to Jesters' 17th year in business, I can tell you, I’ve listened to my fair share. There's always someone who wants to bring you down, naysayers, doom merchants, know-alls who know fu** -all, and so on.

Usually this boils down to one thing – Jealousy. Jealous twats that don't like you being busy still after 16 years or just ain't got anything better to do (I'm sure you all know people like that - I do, and some even run little rented clubs and just dream of one day owning one!!!!!!!!!) Meeooow.

Let me simplify what I'm trying to say. Jesters has been open 16 years, open on average 6 days a week, on average about 3,000 – 4,000 customers per week. Let's do the maths : 16 years x 52 weeks x 3,000 customers a week = A LOT OF PEOPLE TO TALK A LOT OF BULLSHIT OVER THE YEARS. (Yeah Yeah - "Jesters Molesters" – heard it all before, think of a new one someone).

Let me simplify it even easier. I was stood outside the club a few months back on a busy Saturday night. We had a big queue waiting to come in. As the queue got down to where I was standing, 6 ladies joined the end. 5 of them wanted to go in but the 6th didn't, so I asked her why. She replied in her poshest janner accent...

"I donts wants to cos 2 years ago when I was in there someone gots stabbed to death infronts of me on the dancefloor and you and your bouncers watched him dies and left him there!!!"

Hmmm, maybe the cleaners swept him up in the morning and put him in the bottle skips cos I don't remember any bodies left on the dancefloor.

But that’s what I mean about bullshit. She probably heard someone tell a story, added a bit, forgot a bit and came up with, you got it, bullshit!

So it seems after 16 years, everyone has a tale to tell about good ol' Jesters, some true, some false, some good, some bad. Even people who never even stepped inside the place have a tale to tell. Such is the price of popularity.

Popular myths and rumours answered

Myth/rumourAnswer
DeathsNo
BirthsNo
ConceptionsPossible
ShootingsNo
FirebombsNo
SuicidesNo
Marines beating up studentsNo
Doorstaff beating up studentsNo
Sticky carpetsMany years ago!
Smelly carpetsOnly when de-humidifiers break down after carpet wash day
Watered down beerNo – can't get into the barrels
Make people get drunkNo – they do that themselves
DrowningsNot yet – but wait till Hot tub in smoking garden is working
DivorcesProbably
AffairsHave to ask doorstaff!!!
RobberiesOnly on door charge
Good looking Boss (me)Yes

Please don't read to deep into this page, but take it in the tongue in cheek manner it is written in, most of you reading this will understand what I'm getting at, but for those of you that don't, lets have some fun.

Use the Feedback page of this website to send me the the best, the dumbest, the craziest and stupidest rumours and tales that you have ever heard about Jesters, and I will endeavour to answer each one honestly and to the best of my knowledge, and I'll give a prize to the best one each month.

I'm sure it will give me hours of laughter and probably many sleepless nights.

So long for now.

Steve